A Prom Birthday:Another Year Off Like A Prom Dress

Originally written January 4, 2007

PROM! How exciting! For those who don't know let me explain. My birthday is in 4 days and normally I have birthday week and a birthday trip. This year however, I cannot have a birthday trip because of work related circumstances and deadlines so my presence is mandatory. Instead I am having a themed birthday and the theme is Prom! Prom is going to be on January 10, 2007. Pre-Prom preparation (hair, nails, makeup, etc) will begin that morning and continue into the afternoon. Then my girlfriends and I will be putting on our formal gowns and heading out to dinner and drinks all over Birmingham!

Now, some of you might think that this is totally silly and random and that just means that you don't know me very well at all. I'm so excited and it's going to be tons of fun, in fact it will be way better than prom beacuse everyone is legally old enough to drink this time around =)

Age is just a number, it doesn't define who I am. Just because you get older doesn't mean you have to become old, so throw on your prom dresses and get ready for a good time!

Originally written January 11, 2007

We waited forever and it finally came...Prom! the biggest night of my whole year! So yesterday was prom and the girls and I began at 10 am and were "off like prom dresses." We started with nails and after our nails were done we were going to pick up some lunch. The other Angela had driven a separate car and was dilly dallying in her car in the parking lot. I decided to mess with her and throw myself on the back of her car like she had hit me. She started flipping out so I ran to the window laughing and she rolled it down and started yelling "Angela! Don't do that, you know I'm a bad driver and I thought I really hit you! And then I realized the car was in park and thought the car was malfunctioning!" It was hilarious!

Anyways, so we grabbed lunch and then we went to get out hair did. We then headed to get the make up done and decided to get fake eyelashes(they're the new thing, you know) Well, the makeup artists were not allowed to put the lashes on for us because of liability reasons, they tried to help us but there was an eyelash nazi who kept reprimanding them via headset for doing it for us so we had to help eachother. You have to put glue on the lashes and apply them on as close to your real lashes as you can and let them set for a few seconds before you open your eye. I did Angela's left eye first and it was great, then I did her right eye and thought that I had done a fabulous job so I went to purchase some products. The next thing I know, Rebecca comes running up telling me that Angela cannot open her eye because it's glued shut! OMG I glued her eye together! I felt so bad and she had tears running out of her eye. After it was all said and done it was funny and we totally laughed about it but I felt really bad. We finally got ourselves together and headed home to put on our dresses.

Once we were ready, we took tons of pictures! Real prom pictures, like on the stairs and in front of the fireplace, front, back, together, you name it we did it. Then I opened my birthday presents! I got some really cute stuff and couldn't have asked for anything better-Thanks Girls! And out the door we went to meet our dinner chaperones Flower and Stephen. They were waiting for us at the Olive Garden (because that's where people go for Prom). Dinner was good, lots of fun random conversation and then our bar hopping adventure began!

We started at the Blue Monkey, one of my favorite bars with one of the best bartenders in Birmingham, and had martinis. Then we headed to the north side of town and went to a new bar called Speak Easy that is owned by a friend of a friend. And onward to the Lakeview District we went. We arrived at the Barking Kudu and had birthday cake and FruitLoops! Jared came and then Barry and his posse and then Megan and Heather. There were even surprise bags with candy jewelry and big fun rings! We all wore our rings and candy jewelry and had tons of fun and took millions of pictures (hopefully they'll be up soon!) It was a fantabulous good time, even better than real prom! Best birthday EVER!

I Heart Us: A Beach Trip to Remember!

Originally written July 23, 2007

Sometimes a little girl time is just what you need. Some college friends and I planned a beach trip to Destin and had the time of our lives! We had drinky drinks, snacky snacks, nappy naps and smoky smokes all day everyday! It was just like college all over again, just for a little while.We made tons of new memories and took pictures so that we wouldn't forget! Here's a recap of some of our fun times and lessons learned:

Giddy up as Jiddy Up: Because sometimes a 'G' can make a 'J' sound!

And the Best Eater Award goes to...Jay Ellett presented by the Mohawk

2 trips to the ER: 1 for a Ltab seeker (lol) and 1 for an unidentified insect sting on the eyelid

It's not hard to chase firemen. You see the truck, U-Turn it and they'll lead you straight to their humble abode and take you to the other hotties!

A swamp filled with foam is no more fun than any other swamp

You can unintentionally become a sex kitten and all you need is a shaggy rug

You cannot exit The Wharf through the men's restroom, right Michelle? We don't call her Smiley for nothing!

Tiffani came along just for my entertainment! I dressed her up, spent her money, and made her a picture whore.

BA got addicted to Myspace aka Crackspace

Mushrooms and Ranch, not a good drunky drunk snack or a great combo to regurgitate

You can do everything at WalMart even research career opportunities! It's a long process and they offer great benefits however I was unable to complete my application.

Every girl needs a gihugic hat. It can come in handy when you're underdressed, they're fun to reshape, and they make cute pics.

It's impossible to find a key on the beach at 4am in the dark. Did I mention that the key was in my bra before I decided to flash you?

Oh, unforgettable fun times! I HEART US and am thankful for my girls, my sisters, my friends. But sadly we had to leave and once again go our seperate ways...at least until next time!

A WILD Weekend in Baton Rouge

Originally written November 12, 2007

Oh, my! Where to begin? Last week I received a phone call from my friend Kimberly inviting me and some friends down to Baton Rouge. Her boyfriend is the Pi Kappa Phi house dad and the plan was for us to stay in the frat house and tailgate for the LSU Homecoming game. We left Friday and began partying upon our arrival to the house.

Side Note: Tiffani, Rebecca and me---All single girls staying in a frat house Can we say trouble?!?!?!

Several drinks and introductions later I was a rice cooking baby mama who had been impregnated with twins by a tall dark and handsome Pi Kapp alumni. (hahaha, inside joke!) Tiffani passed out, I went MIA and Rebecca got caught in the act...(the act of what is not to be clarified at this time) and learned why they put locks on the door. We left the house with the Jasons to go to JBs house and returned a couple of hours later. Ben and JT then informed Rebecca and I that we were about to be the first people to ever do the walk of shame INTO the fraternity house. We walk in and Kimberly and Tiffani were concerned about our absence and expected a really good explanation. After some explaining we began drinking (it was game day and when in rome..) and then began to get ready. We partied all day and into the night and then we carashed and the next day woke up and drove home. We had a fun filled weekend with little sleep, lots of drinks, and tons of good times and new memories. Forgive me for the lack of detail, but some things I can't quite remember or they don't make sense because of the sequence that I remember them. But here are some random memories( not all are mine!):

"Ohhh! There some stuff going on in there! I saw it!" -Talley

21 Matt Dunn---Tea anyone? LMAO

"Don't talk to my baby mama like that, I impregnated her with twins!"

Are y'all twins? Which one are you? Were you the one...?

Me giving the bird to Ben and his boys during their gossip fest.

Charlie. =)

I have prizes for you!

Cutt Dogg...in my rice pot! hahaha

...And that’s what friends are for!

Originally written March 16, 2008

According to Merriam-Webster a friend is defined as:
1. One attached to another by affection or esteem
2. One that is not hostile
3. One that favors or promotes something
4. A favored companion
That’s great and I would agree with most of those, however I have my own defining characteristics and here I go...
I’ll begin with the one that I do not fully agree, number 2. Friends can be hostile people (it makes things more fun) as long as they are only hostile to you if and when it is absolutely necessary.

Friends always:
*Celebrate the good times
*Comfort you when going through bad times
*Help you get out of things you accidentally got into all by yourself
*Will be your alibi, no questions asked, but really lots of questions will be asked and you will be expected to answer ALL of them
*Make sure you have lipstick .. you go home with a doctor
*Tell you if you don’t look cute (because it makes them look bad if they’re with you and you look bad)
*Are willing to do things that sometimes they don’t want to do
*Want the best for you (even if they are jealous sometimes, and they will admit when they are jealous)

Friends never:
*Let you hook up with uglies
*Leave you stranded and/or lost
*Judge (at least not to your face)
*Let you drink alone
*Let you stay in one place long enough for your skin to grow on it! Yuck!!!
Okay so there are more things that friends do than things that they should never do and that last one was added in because of current events not because it has happened first hand, or second or even third.

Friends also do the walk of shame into fraternity houses with you and keep baseballs from hitting you in the face. They’ll go down with you drunk and into sticker bushes, laugh at you when you fall down but will always help you up and apologize for things said and done but not quite remembered.
Anyways, the whole point of all this is that friends can turn an unwanted date into a boy=+1 scenario. They can get you really drunk and make him really uncomfortable then lie to him and make him leave so that you can go back and chat up cute anesthesiologists...and that’s what friends are for!

"...I was laughing at myself being funny on drugs"

Originally written June 27, 2008

Shit happens. It happens when we least expect it and it will probably never cease. With age you learn to appreciate all of the shit because if not you're just going to be miserable. It's not really the shit that you appreciate, it's more the results of it and the silver linings. Oh, and the shit doesn't equate to funny unless your bitches are there to remind you of the aftermath. (I do realize that I am saying shit an awful lot but it's because it's one of the few words left that I can still say without paying for it.)

"I was laughing at myself being funny on drugs" Our first example of the funny results of shit happening. This phrase resulted from a memory of rolling through hospital in a new convertible Saturn Sky, ie. the hospital bed. It was prefaced by, "It wasn't the drugs, I was fine and I knew I was being funny." The moral of this is that you go to the ER feeling like you're dying, hours, dollars, lots of drugs and millions of XRAYS later, you're admitted and feeling good. Then you go to surgery, things get removed and you can laugh about in all the days to come.

We have all had those random nights where you go out and have a few drinks and then miraculously you're shit-faced. The next day your memories are fuzzy and you feel like crap. How did that happen? It wasn't intended, but it happened. This is because real friends don't cut friends off because if they did then there would be no black mailing for later and no funnies to tell. Okay, so that's the shit and these are some of the various results: Was he cute? I did what!? Indecent exposure (in both public and private places) Motorboats. Karaoke. Bouncing around on people. Sharpie tattoos. Drunk dialing. Booty calls. The occasional regurgitation. And the list goes on and on and on. Don't pretend like these things have never happened to you!!! If you do you are a liar!

Oh, and let us not forget about horrible first dates! Tom D, Liar Liar and Mr. Voyeurism are my top 3. Only 1/3 of these guys did we know was a no-go from the beginning, but that's what you get for not paying attention and not listening. Oh, but the fun memories that came from all of these poor guys! A fun drunk night with doctors with a hail storm immediately following (that should have been a sign), a real life experience with Big Fish, both being in Alabama, a coincidence, I think not, and then of course, the Cabbage Patch Factory and the things that were said over dinner...that one night at that place in Trussville.

Dot at the Beach. Shit 4 and this happens all of the time and it sucks! Silver lining is... if you're bloated then maybe you'll get a more even tan and when the bloating is gone, you'll be brown everywhere.

I would love to go on but then I would be late for work! I hope y'all enjoyed reading about some of the shit that has happened to me and my bitches, I'm sure that there will be more! Stay tuned for more fun times...

Summer Lovin’ Makes Me Glow

Originally written July 26, 2008

Of all the people I know, I am the least domesticated one of all. I would rather buy new clothes than to do laundry, I eat out a lot because cooking is not quite my forte, and all my life I've had a cleaning lady, the only exception would be when I was in college.

Every now and again though, I'll get a wild hair and decide to have a dinner party. This only happens about once a year and sometimes only every other year. So I decided on Thursday that I would have a party on Friday. It just so happened that Friday was July 25 and I had a theme: Christmas in July! It was very last minute but everything turned out great. Most of my nearest and dearest were able to attend and the festivities began around 6. My last guest just left and I'm left wondering why I don't do this more often. I cooked Christmas dinner all day and then enjoyed good company all night and we even played dirty Santa. I have holiday traditions that I've practiced for years. Today/yesterday was my very first time to celebrate Christmas in July. We did almost everything like real Christmas except for going out afterwards (something I've done every year since I was in high school!) but it wasn't necessary because most of my friends attended my party.

Sometimes, it's nice just to be able to stay home. I go out frequently and sometimes I feel like the bar is my home (does that mean I have a problem? lol) I guess it's just the change in atmosphere and the change in my age that makes me appreciate nights like tonight a little more every time one of them happens. I always feel more insightful and closer to my friends and family after my domestic modes, or maybe it was just the holiday theme. The holidays always make me feel a little warm and fuzzy (not that I need to be warm, it's so hot outside already!!) but there's just something about them that I love. The memories of holidays past resurface and linger and I can't help but think how much has changed yet how much is still the same. I also think that you can elaborate much more and say and do many things at home that you wouldn't actually say or do in a public place. For example: playing with handcuffs, showing off your new derrière, saying quoted comments like Hill called and said, "I was horny and came by to see your big titties; you said you would be at the pool but you lied" There's just a whole different level of honesty and crassness when you're in your own home. I think the alcohol may have also contributed to several of the conversations.

Summertime, you gotta love it! Summer has come and almost gone so fast. It seems as if gets shorter and shorter every year. Tonight we spoke of loves: new, old, stagnant and those hopefully to come and BJ and I decided that it's summer lovin' that make us glow. I've paid my domestic dues and now I can go back to my crazy self. Merry Christmas (in July) to all and to all a good night!

But occifer I didn’t mean to...

Originally written July 27, 2008

I am so surprised that I haven't been arrested lately! I've been doing stupid things- all by accident of course. I guess my mind is just wandering and I'm not paying attention. And all of my incidents have taken place while I was sober, so I really have no excuse! A couple of weeks ago while I was at the beach I stole a bracelet! I was just trying them on and went to a jewelry store to look at watches and there was a price tag hanging from my arm. I was so embarrassed! It must have gotten lost and mixed in with all of my previously paid for jingle jangles that I just happened to be wearing that day. After purchasing (paying and all!) a watch I ran back to the other store to return the bracelet. I didn't want the people to know that I had taken it by accident so I just put it back on the jewelry fixture and left. Hahaha so that was a funny thing that happened at the beach and then every store that I went into I felt like I should keep my hands in my pockets so that my newly discovered kleptoness would not take over. So then today, I tried to break into a car. It was not my car and I don't know who it belonged to. I was at the mall and I had parked in the parking deck. When I got ready to leave I saw a car that looked like mine and it was parked very close to where I actually parked. I hit the unlock button on my keys and the lights didn't come on. My immediate thought was that my key was broken because the other day I lost my keys and had to use a spare one and that clicker did not work. So I proceed to approach the car and stick my key in it and it will not turn. Then I look in the car and realize that it is not my car! I quickly remove my key and look around to see if anyone saw me do what I just did. Then I look up to see my car two spaces over- I know that this is my car because the lights are on and the doors are unlocked. I get in quickly and drive off knowing in the back of my mind that security somewhere is having a huge belly laugh at my stupidity. And then I hoped to myself that if that were so that they would also get a little choked on their coffee and donuts. I have now included thief and grand theft auto to my personal résumé so if you know any interested parties please let me know. Have their people call my people and we can set something up. lol