The Signs

Her reputation is very well known throughout the community and is synonymous for being ‘one of those’ difficult kind of women. I, being from a different community, outside of The Village had no idea, but was very quick to find out. I was referred to her by a friend who’s intentions were golden because she too was from outside The Village and did not know the extent of Queen-stein’s way.

An interview was scheduled and I met with the P & Q-stein. The interview went well and was full of fluff and empty promises for a promising future that would never come. Towards the end of our first meeting Penis-stein gave me some “fatherly advise” about my resume. It was a modern format where your contact information is located at the bottom of the page. He did not pay attention to that detail and advised that contact information should be somewhere on the resume. I then informed him that it was and that he had just overlooked it.

The second interview was different and very nonconventional. I was asked to manually write a merchandise ticket, a sales ticket and to gift wrap a package. Now, is it just me or can most people old enough to drive do these things? I am a college educated adult who has been in the workforce for almost a decade and this was my second interview. The job at hand solely depended on my handwriting and gift wrapping skills! At the end of this session I was asked in the office and offered a position and a salary. I accepted. I can only say in my defense that I was blinded at the time by the sweetness of a 9:30 to 6 workday and rarely a Sunday. Anyone ever working in retail knows that this is a very desirable schedule. I’ve even heard it referred to as Retail Heaven.

In the beginning, I thought it was odd that everyone was so concerned about how my day was and how I liked my job. It may too have been the way that they asked in such an inquisitive way. For several days, I just thought that everyone was being so kind and welcoming. In hindsight I realize that these were red flags and I being so naive missed every single one of them!

At first, it was all nice and way too easy. You’ve heard the phrase “Too good to be true.” That’s exactly what it was. I went from being treated to lunches at least once a month and small treats here and there to being reprimanded for using expensive ribbon on a sale package. Expensive being defined as ribbon that she purchased versus ribbon that was provided to her from the store that we co-habited within.

There was one instance in particular that I consider the beginning of the end. I had only been working for a few months and it was getting close to holiday time. She was in her office and I was helping a customer with some sale merchandise. The customer requested that the purchase be gift wrapped so after ringing the sale I began wrapping. She came out of her office and saw the customer that I was helping and saw that I was wrapping a gift. She looked at the ticket to see what I had sold as I was finishing the bow. I gave the customer their package, thanked them for coming in and wished them a happy holiday. As they exited the store she turned, looked at me and snapped,

“I know them. That was sale. You used the wrong paper and too much ribbon and you gave them a sticker. Sale items should be wrapped in store paper not my paper and store ribbon not my ribbon. And they should not get a my sticker on their package! You shouldn’t wrap sale items. Don’t waste your time wrapping sale items. They can wrap it themselves. They already got a discount on it.”

Shocked and feeling like the wind had been knocked out of me, I just stood there searching for words and reason for this ridiculousness. Finally I was able to muster up an okay all the while thinking this woman is going absolutely nuts over 1/8 of a piece of tissue paper, a foot and a half of ribbon and a sticker! Are you kidding me? Shut the front door! Only after reiterating this several times to make sure that I fully understood did she then go back into her office.

About ten minutes later I greeted another customer who was also looking at the sale merchandise. She made a purchase and requested that I gift wrap the item. Still raw from just being reamed about this I politely said no and explained that I could only wrap regular priced merchandise. She said that was fine, she understood, took her package and left. Queen-stein comes out of her office and inquires about the sale. She looks at the ticket and asks if I gift wrapped the package. I answered, “No, she asked and I told her the policy.” She then tells me that I should have wrapped the package. She knows her a long time and I should always wrap her package whether it is sale or not because she likes that customer.

At this time, the appointed Store Manager, Bridget, steps up to bat for me. She has witnessed both of my reprimands and explains to Queen-stein that I am new and I was just doing as I was told. She also said that the rules that are made should apply to everyone so that there is no confusion. As Bridget is talking, Queen-stein is snarling and biting her tongue and it looked as though her head were going to detach from her body and explode into a neighboring galaxy. About half way through Bridget’s plea for me, she got cut off and reprimanded herself for arguing about the rules. She was then confronted as to whether she felt ill because she had an attitude and obviously didn’t want to be at work. Then she was told to go home. She retaliated saying that she felt fine and there was no reason to go home. She had just wanted to clarify the rules. She was not ill and she would work until the end of the day. Go Bridget!

Shortly after this confrontation, Bridget and I were summoned by Queen-stein and told that we could gift wrap using our own discretion. But at the same time being told to only use the ‘good’ ribbon and paper for regular merchandise only, unless it was a finer piece of sale merchandise. These packages were allowed a sticker too. Lucky them.

That day was the first of many days that her true colors came out and were visible through her wardrobe of black. And on several occasions after this, the rules of gift wrap were amended. The gift wrap rule and all of the rules, I quickly learned, could be changed at the drop of dime. I attribute this particular incident as the one where the hatred of my job truly began to take root.

New Blogs

Hey guys! Thank you for following my blog! I hope that you enjoy sharing my experiences as much as I enjoyed having them. I know that I haven't blogged in awhile but I want to try something new. My work situation is less than ideal and my employers totally stress me out over nothing. So as a release, some of my blogs will now be work related. I am changing names so that people will remain somewhat anonymous. I plan to still write about my personal social experiences and hope that you will enjoy some of my work experiences too. I promise they are quite entertaining!

Tasha Pace

In all of my retail experience never have I met anyone that can hold a flame to Tasha Pace. This woman is one-of-a-kind and thank goodness for that! She was in her late 70’s when I first met her but you would never know it except for the fact that she told everyone proudly exactly how old she was or was about to be. She was loud and proud and expressed her opinion whether it was wanted or not. Her motto was that when you get to a certain age you can say whatever you want and she did just that! She never said what that age was but it was implied that she had reached it.

One of my first encounters with Tasha was right after I had begun working in a small family owned high end retail store. She was like a fixture in the store, having worked there for over 30 years. I had heard stories and been warned but had yet to find out for myself. About two weeks in to my new job, I was having lunch in the break room. There was a good crowd in there of about 6 people one of which was Tasha. She was critiquing my lunch and inquiring why I was not eating meat. I told her that I was a vegetarian and hadn’t eaten meat in over ten years. Her response was “Nah! You’re not a vegetarian. All the vegetarians I know are stick thin and have good skin!” Remember again that she is loud and proud. Everyone went quiet, mouths dropped and there was a moment of silence. Then she says, “I mean you do have pretty skin but you’re Asian so it’s in your genes.” More silence. I began laughing. I mean, what else could I do? People around me started immediately apologizing for her and trying to save face. And the more that they tried the more adamant she was about defending herself and saying that she was just speaking from her own experience.

Over time, you learn to love Tasha. She means well...most of the time. And sometimes she just doesn’t think that there is anything wrong with what she says. She tells people all the time that they should wear makeup and fix themselves up. Or she gives them unwanted advise about how they should wear their hair or what they can do to make themselves look better. One of the things that she is constantly preaching is to young married women about how to make their marriage work.

“Don’t you ever say no! Don’t deny your man of sex. When he wants it, give it to him. That’s why I’ve been happily married for so many years! That’s the key. If you’re not giving it to him, you better believe he’s gonna get it from someone else! You gotta keep your man happy. I mean really! They’ve got needs and it’s your duty to take care of them”

And, oh dear, when the shocking story of Tiger Woods and his numerous affairs was released and making headlines she blamed his wife for his adulterous behavior. She said, “See I tell you girls all the time, you gotta keep your man happy. I bet she denied him and he went somewhere else.”

I did not and still do not agree with her opinions on this matter so I rebutted. I simply stated that in your wedding vows you do not vow to have sex whenever your spouse wants however you do vow to be faithful until death do you part. Then asked if she though his wife was still in the wrong. That was pretty much the end of that conversation.

Every night Tasha has a scotch and water before bed. Sometimes she gets up in the middle of the night to watch soft porn on Cinemax and occasionally she goes the extra mile and orders some Pay Per View. One day she was telling the story about how she couldn’t sleep and had gotten up to watch some television. After some channel flipping she stopped on an awards show. It happened to be an awards show for porn. She proceeded to tell everyone about some of the categories in which people were nominated. That was way too much information that she was sharing. Oh, let me also mention that about 90% of these conversations took place in the break room while people were trying to eat. I am shocked that more people didn’t choke while eating their lunch. Some people just lost their appetites and ended up not eating at all.

I’ve heard stories about her whole life; from her first experience using a tampon to her discovery of the martini. And still to this day she’ll tell you, “Martinis make me horny!” She loves life and life loves her. And again, thank goodness there’s only one Tasha Pace.

My Road Trip/ Vacation

Day 1: Mullets, Mayhem and Much Much More!

Mullet sightings galore! ...And I’m not talking about the fish! That’s right, I’ve been in the one and only Gatlinburg, Tennessee. It’s a great place for people watching and the things you see are priceless! I saw many a mullet and tons of people whose days, I’m sure, ended with 6 Flags Rash. Obesity at it’s best roaming up and down the streets with funnel cakes, fudge, taffy and caramelized and candied fruit in every hand! A pleasant mix of lovers, adulterers and families filled the streets and shops for a good time. Some searching for the perfect place to buy their newest personalized t-shirt to forever remember their vacation to the mountains while others roamed aimlessly into shops filled with over-priced junk and knock-off handbags. This was my observation just from sitting outside having dinner. On the patio, dining nearby...Spotted. Cute locals. A table of talent sitting right in front of my very eyes. Three unmarried and decently cute guys. Daydreaming about the fun that could be had...then back to reality! No ‘single me fun’ can be had, I’m with Josie and Robert! A fog of disappointment overcomes me for just a moment and then I realize maybe this is a blessing in disguise. So I eat my salad and occasionally glance at the nearby table. Several times, eye contact was made with the guys and then they left. Shortly after, we were finished with dinner and left too. The potential of fun times for me had just slipped right through the cracks. After a brisk walk and a trolley ride I was ready to turn in for the night.

Day 2: A Wandering Mind

Today was spent mostly driving. I slept in until around 10:30, got up, got ready and went to lunch with Josie and Robert. I shopped a bit and then hit the road. When the speed limit is only 65 and there are state troopers EVERYWHERE (thank goodness for cruise control!), 400 miles is a lot of road and lots of time for your mind to wander. I did a lot of thinking about life in general and all of the different scenarios that could happen; the choices that could lead to the future and the end result of those decisions. Then I received a random voice note and those always bring me joy! They just make me smile. (And it’s been a long while since I’ve gotten one.) I dilly dallied at a store on the way to Virginia that we used to stop at when I was a little kid. And then later, dilly dallied at WalMart before finally arriving at my destination. Now I am blogging and stealing internet and have no phone service. Disconnected from the world I know. I am officially in the country! The city life that I know is nonexistent for the next few days and I’m okay with that.

Day 3: Up and Down and Round and Round

My day began with an early voice note from a Morgan Freeman impersonator with a Driving Miss Daisy pun, lol! He knows for sure that I need a driver just like Miss Daisy! The majority of my day was spent driving up and down and around mountains. I did Pipers Gap, Lambskin Mountain and the Blue Ridge Parkway. It was AWESOME!!! I couldn’t help but think that BMW should do a commercial driving down some of the mountains that I drove down today. The winding roads and hairpin curves, the amazing view; totally commercial material. I visited with some of my most adoring fans and got a great rosary from a little vintage store in a town called Independence. I also ate entire dog basket like any fat girl would. For those of you unfamiliar with the dog basket it is a must have when visiting North Carolina. There’s a little place called O’dells, a car hop, and my dad used to work there when he was a teenager. It is still in business and is an original version of something like a Sonic but way mo’ betta! A dog basket consists of two dogs and fries. They have sundaes and sodas and the good kind of ice. It’s super cheap and oh so good! So to sum up my day: I had an ultimate driving experience and ate like a fat girl! I LOVE being on vacation!

Day 4: SC Bound

Today I drove down the mountain to North Carolina for a little visit before heading southbound. Upon arriving I realized that no one was home. I had "Goldilocks" moment except I didn't eat porridge or take a nap. Instead, I entertained myself with a solo photo shoot outside around the house. I was heading to the garden for a change of scenery and then I freaked myself out. I was outside and I started thinking about bugs and ticks which lead to thoughts of Lyme Disease. All of these thoughts filled my head and I decided that it would be best for me turn around and go back inside...away from the bugs and potential disease that could be lurking around outside. I hung around and waited for a little while before I heard a car pull in. I visited for a bit and then hit the highway! That's right, South Carolina bound! I stopped in Gaffney and did some light shopping. The light shopping turned into more of a moderate experience. Needless to say, I lost track of time before realizing that I had to leave asap in order to make my dinner plans in downtown Greenville. I flew down 85 and was right on time. Dinner started with beer and evolved into Sake. Oh yeah, and there was food too: Edamame and my favorite roll at Tsunami, a Florida roll. Normally there's no room for dessert but not tonight! Fried cheesecake was AWESOME! On the way home there was a case of McKenzie v. P. Soph. Long story short, back rear window completely down and refusing to raise. Total buzz killer. Parked in the garage and Andy rigged it up. Continued drinking and decided to go play in the pool. After becoming more wrinkled than a prune I decided to call it a night. It's good to be back.

Day 5: A Girl's Gotta Do What A Girl's Gotta Do

I woke up super early and couldn't go back to sleep. Dilly dallied around and then got up to run some errands. Messed with the window a little bit and talked to Chris about it. Andy made some phone calls and I called the BMW dealership in Greenville. All routes led to dead ends. I hate Century BMW they have THE WORST customer service! Every time I've ever had to use them for anything! When you think they can't suck anymore than they already do they go and prove you wrong. I called them several times and left messages and no one ever called me back. Andy and I decided to just go and try some places and see if we could find someone to pull up the window. We did, left my car there and did some running around. Went back to the house to enjoy a wonderful pool day with some of my favorite SC peeps. After some fun in the sun and several beverages, Brandi and I went to pick up my car. The window was up but the door panel was in the backseat. (It's what Chris said to do, so I did it.) $75 later, I had my car and was running my errands before heading back to the house. Dinner, wine, shots and SC baseball made for a perfect evening-minus the fact that Clemson lost. And I came to the realization that when I lived here I was smaller because I drank more than I ate and sometimes I drank too much which meant that the food I ate didn't stay down. So far so good; everything has stayed down. Today was a lushy pool day but I still managed to be productive and get stuff done.

Day 6: The End

Today was officially my last day of vacay :'( until beach trip next month. I got up, got packed, picked up sandwiches and met Michal for a late lunch at Papa's & Beer before heading home. It's never as fun coming as it is going. The weather was off and on yucky and I was sad that I had to leave. I stopped in Commerce for a little happy to pick up my spirits. I didn't leave Greenville until after 4 (Birmingham time) and wasn't thinking that it was almost 6 (Georgia time), so the stores were closing. Maybe that was for the best. So two stores and a pair of pants later I decided to get back on the road. My attention got diverted to the Starbucks by the interstate so I stopped for a nonfat caffeinated pick-me-up before getting back on 85. Good thing because there was a wreck and an on-looker traffic delay and I was thankful that I had a tasty beverage. After getting past that, it was smooth sailing. I made good time and was back in the Birmingham vicinity within the 8 o'clock hour. I had a much needed wonderful vacation and I'm sad that it is over.

Yep, That's Right

Let us not be mistaken in the fact that if there's a will there's definitely a way! This past weekend was that in the form of "another one bites the dust." Yep, that's right. A girls' weekend before she says "I do." Her own wishes were to keep things low key and no crazy shenanigans-at least no crazier than our usual.

Friday is when the festivities began. That night we met in Guadalahoover and had fishbowl margaritas and a Mexican feast. (I put those in order of importance!) We weren't there very long before several of the girls at our table were wet. They should really get out more ;) ha! But yes they were literally wet because the waiter spilled drinks on them. Oops. There was an eclectic group at dinner; friends from back home that had grown up with the bride-to-be, college friends and sorority sisters. There was a fun sponge, some married ones, single ones, crazy ones, sober ones and yes drunk ones too! Yep, that's right. So after a very interesting and well hydrated dinner we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. For some of us, our separate ways was the same way. That way was a road that led straight to my house...to a refrigerator well equipped with grown kool-aid. Yep, that's right, I hosted camp for the very first time!

Saturday the plan was to leave and head towards Atlanta for a day trip. But here's how it really went down: from Hoover to Enterprise to Oxford to Douglasville to Duluth to a Bahama Breeze and back to Hoover all in one day! In all honesty the trip to Atlanta was really just to satisfy the craving for some Bahama Breeze. We never really stopped in Atlanta; we just drove straight through it.

Anyways, back to Saturday. There's never really food in my house, so I got up and went to McDonalds to get breakfast for everyone. When I got back everyone ate and started getting ready. At this time we still hadn't really figured out how we were going to get to the Bahama Breeze. Of course we knew it would be by car but there were six of us and no one's car seated more than five. Tiff did not want to take more than one car because then we would be separated and everyone knows we're much more fun when we're together! So it was decided. We would just squeeze and fit. Yep, that's right. We would make it work and we did. It was unanimous that MB would drive because she's responsible like that. (And because she can't drink because of her headache medicine.) Jac was in the front seat and BA, 2, Tiff and I were all in the backseat. No need for seat belts because if one of us could get loose it would be a miracle. We were each others' safety belts. I guarantee nobody from the back seat had to be worried about flying into the windshield. Don't worry we have proof that this all happened. There are photos. So we get half way down my street and I'm already uncomfortable. I twist, turn and readjust myself so that I am on the other side of Tiff and facing backwards. I was the only person in the back seat with a nonexistent rear end so it was more comfortable for me in this position as well as more spaciously efficient. By the time we got down Hwy 150 we were starting to question our decision. We then began locating car rental locations and narrowing our search to those with SUVs. Our pot of gold was found in the form of an Enterprise and a Tahoe.

To be honest with you, I think some of the most fun that was had happened at the Enterprise. Upon pulling up and parking a gentleman was coming out and got to witness all of us getting out of the car. We looked like carnies getting out of a clown car. He stood there amazed until we were all out and then he began laughing and was still in awe that we had ALL just gotten out of a Honda Accord. The first thing we said was "We want that" and pointed directly at the Tahoe. He said okay and got into a car. We all exchanged a quick look and began laughing because our thoughts were all the same: He doesn't work here! He then rolled the window and confirmed that he did and he was going to pull that car around back (that's what he said) and be right with us. So the six of us walk into the Enterprise, loud and proud because that's how we roll. The staff consisted of all men probably close to our ages. That's always a good sign! And we instantly made ourselves at home and became the entertainment for the Enterprise employees and fellow patrons. We were probably the most fun they had ever encountered and I'm sure they left wishing that they could live vicariously through us. We had interesting topics of conversation, a mini photo shoot and BA brought in her cocktail which she drank the entire time that we were there. There was also an epic fail of a reality dating game for MB and an Enterprise employee. It was the perfect set up: coordinating outfits, he asked all the right questions and he even gave her a car! It was an epic fail because he was married. Yep, that's right. Can you believe it?! I mean he shouldn't have even qualified as a contestant! He couldn't help it though, it was only a reality dating game to me. In my world. After all, I had to do something fun while we waited. After negotiating a stellar price on our rental and him handing over the keys we were off and way more comfortably seated this time. Yay us for making a grown-up decision!

We made it all the way to Oxford before running out of gas and kool-aid. Fill 'er up, potty, buy beer and we were on our merry way once again. After another short stop in Douglasville and a quicky through the city we finally arrived at our destination. There's no way of describing the feeling that you get when you see those neon letters and glowing palm trees. It's bittersweet because the memory of having it so close and then having it taken away lingers in your head. Then joy comes overpowering all of that because for just a couple of hours you can have it again! We rearranged the furniture to properly accommodate us and then we waited. There! In the distance, he was spotted. Keith Shoemaker! Our party was now complete (or as complete as it was going to be for this Bahama Breeze excursion.) ...So bring on the Bahamaritas!!! Oh yes, they were broughten! Keith educated us on 'burrito balls', filled some of the girls in about the brown towel and was welcomed to our ongoing discussion of a Men's Health article. Just when things were getting good, a tragic thing happened. I party fouled and spilled my entire Bahamarita. *Gasp* Keith insisted on licking the top and then he salvaged what he could by sticking his straw in the puddle of frozen goodness. He then began trying to tackle the spillage in the sugar tray. He called in for special machinery when he saw that the straw wasn't quite cutting the mustard, but the fork he found did just fine. After recovering from this terrible tragedy we decided that we should have dessert. Lucky for us Keith came prepared and had a trunk full of JELLO. After a dessert party in the parking lot we said our goodbyes and headed back to Birmingham.

Sunday was a lazy day and very low key. Tiff and I went to breakfast at The Egg and I and then back to my house for some lounging and a movie. Later we went to lunch at Nothing But Noodles and then we went to Yogurt Mountain for dessert. Feeling like we should be at least a little productive we decided to do some light shopping and were successful in finding a gift for the groom. At the end of the day I told Tiff, "People usually party like rock stars for their bachelorette parties but this felt like a regular weekend. Maybe it's because we party like rock stars on the regular." True Story. The End.

The Next New Thing? I Surely Hope Not!

May! It's already May! I can't believe it. Time is just flying by and times are definitely changing. I'm getting back in the swing of things after a long, dry but much needed first quarter. And let me just say that it is much easier to get back into the swing than it is getting out. There are some days that I look back and I'm amazed that I made it through the day without having a drink. (If you know my boss you're wondering the same thing! She makes Miranda Priestly look like Mother Teresa.) Anyways, that is totally a detour from the point that I'm trying to make which is about a potential new pick-up technique. The Leg Feel Up? The question mark is because I'm not sure whether or not this is a new technique and/or if this is the correct terminology. The 'Leg Feel Up' is what I am going to call it for now.

Some of you may be confused so I am going to explain and hope for some insight to this new phenomenon. One of my first outings after Lent was a going away party for a friend from work. Total there were 5 guys and 4 girls hanging out in a crowded bar. Out of the 9 there was one married couple and the rest were singles. One of the single guys decided to pursue one of the girls by using his foot to caress the back of her leg. She mentioned this in conversation and it was unanimous that he was wasted and trying to flirt with her so we let it go. Later, I went to the restroom which was down a set of stairs. On my way back to the group I was walking up the stairs and this guy took his hand and ran it up the back of my leg. Random. I then asked the people that I was with if this was a new pick-up technique of some sort. They were clueless and so we just wrote it off as coincidence. The next weekend a girlfriend of mine had went to the beach for the Mullet Toss. She went out to the FloraBama and met a guy who grabbed her by the back of the leg and did a similar but more provocative move to what I had experienced the previous weekend. When she mentioned this I began to see a pattern and started to wonder if this is some kind of new thing. "Surely not!" I thought to myself. Why would anyone do this to pick up girls? What happened to conversation?! Then I remembered something about Ray Charles gauging women by the size of their wrists and thinking maybe these guys had just expanded on his idea. Can you tell the size of a women by the size of her thighs? Oh dear! What is the world coming to?!

This is just something that I have not been able to stop thinking about and then it happened to me again! There was someone that I knew who was having lunch and I went to say hello and give a side hug. He did not get up but instead totally felt up my leg. He started from the back-right above the bend-and moved upwards and to the inside stopping before he got totally inappropriate and then going back down. I was shocked and speechless that this had just happened mid day with no alcohol to blame. I mean it's much more than just a boob graze that can 'accidentally' happen. This is 100% intentional not doubt about it. Is this some kind of new pick up or just a random thing that has been happening to me and my friends?

I went out tonight and was in the company of several single and attractive men with whom I am friends. I decided to ask them about this new thing and didn't get a straight answer from them. Instead they tried to understand what I was talking about by using my leg to demonstrate and clarify the question at hand. I should have known better; I SHOULD have known better! So I am still without an answer and am left hoping that this is not some sort of new pick up technique. Lord help me if it is! I may decide it's just better for me to stay single.

Eating More Nutritiously

Fruit Loops were mandated after tonight's dinner. I had everything at home except orange juice. The lack of this one thing required me to stop at the Publix on my way home. So there in all of its glory is all of the orange juice in its small refrigerated section of the store. Who knew there were so many different kinds? I am very indecisive and the more choices I have, the longer it takes me to make a choice (maybe this is why I'm still single? LOL) Finally I decide on the one that has more calcium because to me this makes it more nutritious. After making my decision I began to think about whether or not the alcohol that would soon be added to this calcium enriched orange juice would cause the extra calcium to dissipate. I decided to put this thought out of my mind and to focus on the fact that I had just made a grown up health conscious decision.

I got home and began making my pitcher of fruit loops adding first my special mixture of flavored vodkas. Then the added calcium orange juice, pineapple juice and grenadine. Taste. Not quite it. Added some regular vodka and...perfection. Crushed ice in a pretty glass and bendy straw. Done and done. As I was putting things back in the fridge I came across some fruit salad. (Really it was fruit from the white wine and champagne sangria that I made earlier in the week, but it was presoaked fruit which is equivalent to fruit salad in my world.) And then came the best idea that I had had the entire day! Add the fruit salad to the fruit loop. Presto! Semi-homemade! Sandra Lee eat your heart out! My new concoction is called A Loopy Salad. It's a delicious nutritious addition to any day. See, I'm more domestic than you thought!