Girls’ Beach Trip 09: PCB
Every year, for the past three years, my girlfriends and I have taken a girls’ beach trip. It’s an opportunity for us to get away and have some girl time. The boyfriends, husbands and lovers all get left at home to fend for themselves and eagerly await our return home. We are women of all kinds; some are married and others single, some are divorced and our ages span an entire decade but despite our differences we all come together once a year for our annual beach trip! This year, there were seven of us and we had a blast like always! Our beach trip was filled with fun times: surprises, presents, crack (LMAO), Jesus, some XXX school, relationship confirmation and a white dress!
It all began Thursday night as we drove down to the beach. The last week had been extraordinarily interesting for Tiffani because she had met a new man the Saturday before. Tiff was driving and MB, BA and I were passengers. We all had lots of questions and had plenty of time for discussion! Needless to say the drive down was very interesting and quite entertaining. And we almost ran over someone but that is a whole other story!
We were staying with Smiley Thursday night on Mulberry Lane and then hanging out until our condo was ready on Friday. When we got to Smiley and Scott’s, she had left us a note telling us to make ourselves at home. Since I had only seen their house in pictures I wanted to explore a little bit. I put my bags in the guest room and wondered around a bit. I got to the living room and just happened to look down and glance at their movie collection. Low and behold is a film titled Crack Addict 2 and there is a girl bent over touching her toes in nothing but a thong. Tiffani was outside and I thought that it would be hilarious to stand in front of the front door in the same position, fully clothed though. When she walked in she was like WTF are you doing?! And I laughed and pointed at the dvd case. We all had a little giggle but the next morning Smiley didn’t think it was as funny as we had thought it was because it meant that Mike had found it and watched it and done who knows what else to it! So who else lives on Mulberry Lane? The porn man! Oh, do you know the porn man, the porn man, the porn man Oh do you know the porn man who lives in Mulberry Lane? I think he’s distantly related to the muffin man who lives in Drury Lane. Talk about seven degrees of separation!
So the next day we got up and went to the grocery and then on to Pier Park to do a little shopping and get some lunch. Margaritaville couldn’t have been any better! From there we headed to the Sea Breeze Winery and picked up some gifts and some wine slush! Yummo!!! We got all checked in and unpacked. Once we were all settled in we realized that the Verizon commercials are nonfiction! The only people with any phone service were those that had “the network!” After slightly freaking out a bit we discovered that there was a small signal if you stood in just the right place out on the balcony. Btw, the view was AMAZING! We were on the corner so our balcony wrapped around and on one side was the beach and on the other was the beautifully landscaped pool. We also had to be in a special place in order to pickup a wireless signal. Since we were stealing it from someone it was a little spotty so we decided to go to the atrium to get a better connection. Tiffani stepped outside to have a ciggy and all of the sudden we hear screaming! One of Tiffani’s birthday surprises had arrived! Jac had pulled up and let her presence be known! She got settled in and we enjoyed pizza, beer and lots of gossip and judgment! Then Jac and I had a night beach shoot. So much fun! While we were out B decided to give free tutoring and visual demonstrations about all of the different girl on top guy on bottom sexual positions. (For those of you who don’t know B she has no modesty and has a very healthy sexual appetite and is very open about it.)
Saturday. Saturday morning some of the girls made appointment at the spa for a little massage. While at the spa those who wanted to sleep in did exactly that and then decided to get ready for the sun. In the midst of that a little Shrek came out and then we discovered the new and improved breakfast of champions: swiss rolls and beer!Unfortunately it was a little overcast so we set up camp at a prime location: right beside the tiki bar! The sun may have been absent but the libations were flowing freely. A few of us decided to go for a walk on the beach and after a mini photo shoot with a sailboat Jac dropped her camera and got sand in the lens ending our photo time. As we were walking I suddenly realized how not sober I had become as well as the fact that it was about 4 in the afternoon and I had forgotten to eat lunch, oops! Needless to say drunky pants was an understatement. I got lunch and decided I needed a nap. While I was napping there was still a lot of activity going on at the pool. Sadly I missed out on the following events but was very entertained when I heard the stories later that night. There was a change in bartenders and “Big Daddy” was the new sheriff in town. After getting off to a rocky start with the girls he warmed up and was giving free shots and drinks. Jac called out an ex and met a Jamaican. There was some flashing of the bartender and a couple of old men. Tiffani was trying to pimp out MB to a group of old men who wanted to suck her toes, when she said no to the toe-sucking they moved on to the next girl and were feeling her up when Tiff noticed and in her drunken state said, “Oh no! No! Well, you can touch but you can’t pen-a-pena-penetrate!!!!!” Enough said. And shortly after that they thought it best to come back inside. Good choice girls!
By this time, I was ready for round two and everyone else was drunk and hungry so we split up and half of us went to the Waffle House (because it was within walking distance) and the other half called in food to be picked up. At the Waffle House we made friends with the waitress-imagine that! who hooked B up with extra goodness on her waffle (no charge of course) and brought Tiffani some birthday pie. After Thanksgiving dinner Tiff’s new beau rang and they became facebook official. We waited outside while she was talking to him because she actually had service where we were, but we made the most of it as always. Pictures in trees are always fun! Not to mention all of the other fun props like doggie poop cans, benches and fire hydrants! After walking up 8 flights of stairs (we thought it would be sobering) the other had just gotten back and were eating their dinner which was packaged in styrofoam boxes. When they were finish the boxes went in the garbage can. Someone went into raccoon mode and dug out a dinner. The rationing of this was that it was in a box and it was kind of on top. And since it was in the box, “In the trash or on the counter, it don’t matter!” Lmao!!!
Sunday we were ready for a full on, all day make out session with the sun! He stood us up the day before so were determined we were gonna some today! And he brought it! =)
We were a little easier on the tiki bar drinks today than the day before but we were still set. Smiley and DBA left around lunchtime and then Jac followed later that afternoon. After a full day in the sun we were spent. But then we remembered our purpose! Sometimes in order to move into the future you have to let go of the past. Trash the dress! Can you think of a better way to move on? I didn’t think so! It was the perfect way to spend the last night of our beach trip!
The next day we got all packed up and had lots left over beer. You can’t let that go to waste so we filled the cooler and whatever was left we drank before we checked out.
We said our goodbyes to all of our newly made friends, Officer Mike, Melissa, and Conner. Then we were on our way.
10 Best of the Best Quotes from the Beach and One to Grow On...
I gotta man and his teeth are better than officer Mike’s
Who needs Wheaties when you have swiss rolls and beer?! It’s the new 2009 breakfast of champions!
8. In the trash or on the counter, it don’t matter!
7. She sho didn’t find Jesus but she did find Jack!
6. Watch out for the bush! Put your knees up!
5. Uh-uh. My shit travels.
4. OMG! It’s worse in the dark!
3. It’s better from the back
2. Dude! You’re not ruining my Kudu!
1. You can touch but you can’t pen-a-pena-penetrate!!!!!
*One to grow on...Shut up Angela and drink your beer!
(This one was in the car on the way home!)
The Best Convo
Preface: Before this conversation occurred we had had a 30 minute discussion about sex. Leading into the following conversation was a mild debate about whether or not there is a limit to someone telling you how pretty you are. One side argued that too much can be annoying and come off as being insincere while the opposing side said that they enjoy being told how pretty they look and that it should be limitless the times that they get told such things.
“Maybe when I get me some Jesus I’ll feel differently.”
“Please tell me that’s not what you really call IT.”
“No, I mean the real Jesus!”
And this concludes our 2009 Girls’ Beach Trip! 2010 is gonna have to step up its game to top this epic year! Nonfiction. So until next year...Peace out sisterfriends.
So yesterday was prom and the girls and I began at 10 am and were "off like prom dresses." We started with nails and after our nails were done we were going to pick up some lunch. The other Angela had driven a separate car and was dilly dallying in her car in the parking lot. I decided to mess with her and throw myself on the back of her car like she had hit me. She started flipping out so I ran to the window laughing and she rolled it down and started yelling "Angela! Don't do that, you know I'm a bad driver and I thought I really hit you! And then I realized the car was in park and thought the car was malfunctioning!" It was hilarious!
It was just like college all over again, just for a little while.We made tons of new memories and took pictures so that we wouldn't forget! 
Here's a recap of some of our fun times and lessons learned:
Can we say trouble?!?!?!